Poor Obie. He must have hated this so much. His usual easy fluency is gone gone gone; he stammers and stutters and misplaces his caesuras and emphases half a dozen times in every sentence. Mister Timing himself suddenly has no timing. Particularly cruel -- if you like cringe comedy -- is the bit that starts at 7:00 and culminates right around 8:00, when he can't even manage to read the Gospel words accurately off his script, which he consults far more obviously than I've ever seen him do.
He's quite shameless really. Or not, that's dead wrong. He does in fact have a capacity for shame. That's why he's so awkward here. He obviously doesn't believe a word of this stuff, and even his impermeable conscience, tempered in the hellfire of Chicago politics, manages to trip him up.
He might not be a bad ex-president. The role model is Jimmy Carter, who as president was a horrible prodromos to the unspeakable Ronald Reagan: I baptise you with water but there is one who comes...
Jimmy, in later years, tried to atone for his sins by building houses and using the forbidden A-word in connection with Israel. Obie, I suspect, may in fact have some similar well-hidden depths in his character, and his stumblebum performance at the National Prayer Breakfast -- God, what a phrase -- may be the best evidence I have to cite.
Let's all help save Obie's soul. Stay home on Election Day and allow the cares of Empire to descend upon the broad Mormon shoulders of Mitt Romney, who seems destined for the role. Send Obie off into the wilderness to fast and pray. It'll be good for him.
Of course he already prays, or so he says. Early on in the speech he confesses that when he gets up in the morning he says a 'brief' prayer and reads a 'little' scripture.
Wouldn't want to overdo it.
Comments (21)
Do not begrudge a man his right to be hungover! He is the president for Christ's sake! Do you know how fucking stressful that job is? Take your job as little Webmaster Willie and multiply it by 182!
Posted by Paul Alexander | February 3, 2012 12:38 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 00:38
I just wonder if they ever get any of those Jesus on a pancake or Mother Teresa cinnamon bun miracles at these prayer breakfasts. I mean is a prayer breakfast appropriate? What about a prayer barbeque, then? Tailgate picnic? Wiener roast? Clambake? Luau? Happy hour?
Posted by Sandwichman | February 3, 2012 12:50 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 00:50
182? That sounds like a shitload of stress.
Posted by Sandwichman | February 3, 2012 12:52 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 00:52
"If we abandon our values at the door," pondereth Obama, "we abandon much of the moral glue that has held our nation together for centuries and allowed us to become somewhat more perfect a union." Moral glue: better not sniff too much of it, or you'll end up sounding like this man.
Bad though this speech is, it's no proof of a sense of shame. Incompetence is doubtful evidence of insincerity.
Posted by antonello | February 3, 2012 12:57 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 00:57
182 is the breaking point between man and psycho.
Also, your question about there possibly being other types of food based gatherings that incorporate spirituality is a good one. I'd love to see a Prayer Happy Hour. Everyone's feeling a little closer to God after the second cocktail.
Posted by Paul Alexander | February 3, 2012 1:31 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 01:31
Your idea of staying home on election day to spare Obama from further torment is a kind one, and I will adopt it.
In the spirit of true Christian Giving I will extend those mercies onto Brother Mitt and stay home from the polls to save his soul as well.
Bless you.
Posted by Pied Cow | February 3, 2012 5:22 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 05:22
"He does in fact have a capacity for shame. That's why he's so awkward here"
imagine the oily ease
of bill clinton in this set up
Posted by op | February 3, 2012 8:20 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 08:20
sandy
the context is gender determined
there are lots of church suppers
for the gals
the breakfasts are for business men
crepuscular are the sacred intervals
lunch is for three martinis and a girls gossip clutch
and mid night ...
save xmas eve that is .....
fuck
you go find
your own bill-shake line of choice
to slot in there
Posted by op | February 3, 2012 8:59 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 08:59
my choice:
"We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow"
Posted by op | February 3, 2012 9:22 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 09:22
"broad Mormon shoulders "
your easy way with the lapidary phrase led you astray here father S
mitt is the jumpy furtive over the shoulder glancing son of a bigger and better man
old george R now there were broad mormon shoulders
this might as well be malvolio here
mitt the darting eyed over ambitious false-prig
let us hope he his mean spirit
has nothing but a dark hole waiting for him around the play's penultimate corner
---------------
i can hardly fan him on
in his bid to unseat the ohbummer
the worse the better is a knaves wish
ron paulites have it right
support your principal of principle
till the bitter end time
....oh ya we have no nader here ...yet
------------------
the electorate that re-confirmed baby george
against the kerry tree
will one hopes
re confirm ohbummer ..likewise
Posted by op | February 3, 2012 9:35 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 09:35
Given that Obie will be running against a Mormon Bishop, who will be the the first Republican ever to run *away* from his "faith" (no benefit of "at prayer with family" photos), I expect All Jesus All the Time from the POTUS.
Posted by chomskyzinn | February 3, 2012 10:41 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 10:41
Clever point chom
Romney really can't holy Joe it up too much
Without the Mormon comic books fluttering into the mass mindv
Posted by Op | February 3, 2012 11:36 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 11:36
Prayer Happy Hour? You guys are behind the times. Here in jolly olde Britain some churches have their own bar in the basement where everyone piles in after afternoon prayer. I was well impressed with the fact that they actually had beer on tap at one at went to in central London. That's at least one good thing about the Anglicans. But to be fair, most churches just seem to have coffee shops. Damn good coffee too...
Posted by M.InTheCity | February 3, 2012 11:47 AM
Posted on February 3, 2012 11:47
American Episcopalians are great boozers. Down South, where I grew up and where teetotalling Baptists and Methodists were far more numerous, they called us Whiskypalians.
Posted by MJS | February 3, 2012 4:31 PM
Posted on February 3, 2012 16:31
Years ago, I used to tend bar at a local Episcopal church fair/silent auction; had been a choirboy at same church for years. I can attest to Episcopal booziness (and God bless 'em for that, even if they barely believe in the Almighty). Can't tell you how many ruddy men in blue blazers asked me to pour two glasses for them: "One for my wife."
Posted by chomskyzinn | February 3, 2012 6:02 PM
Posted on February 3, 2012 18:02
They were probably *both* for the wife, if I know my Episcopalian girls. As for the belief, there's another old joke about that: If you look closely at an Episcopalian congregation during the Creed, you will find that at least half of 'em have their fingers crossed.
Posted by MJS | February 3, 2012 6:05 PM
Posted on February 3, 2012 18:05
As an Episco priest once said in a sermon I heard on the creed: "I'm happy to discuss it, but don't press me on the details."
Posted by Chomskyzinn | February 3, 2012 7:20 PM
Posted on February 3, 2012 19:20
As to Anglicans: wherever four are
gathered, you'll find a fifth.
Posted by Solar Hero | February 3, 2012 8:07 PM
Posted on February 3, 2012 20:07
Heh. That's a new one to me, but not far wrong.
Posted by Mjs | February 3, 2012 9:24 PM
Posted on February 3, 2012 21:24
most plantation owners were anglican cork heads
a toleration of slavery is built right into that outfits pragmatico-hierarchical genes
why
hank 8 had a string of africk concubines
too bad this clear distinction
was lost during the homogenization
of our non red neck set of anti papist
" horned sects hoofed schisms and false confessions'
Posted by op | February 4, 2012 8:54 AM
Posted on February 4, 2012 08:54
any haut amer-anglican family tree
can usually be traced back
to an escaped british convict
and yes the tree is sapped with 90 proof
Posted by op | February 4, 2012 8:57 AM
Posted on February 4, 2012 08:57