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Bottom of the barrel...

By Michael J. Smith on Sunday October 30, 2011 02:11 PM

... You know you're scraping it when you stoop to making fun of Tom Friedman, a guy whose mustache alone ought to have made him a figure of fun in every corner of the globe, even if he had never written a word. Of course the littera-scripta are pretty funny too, though the joke does get old.

Tom came to my attention today because a Facebook friend -- a well-meaning guy; Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do -- posted a link to this mighty lucubration from Moral Tom:

Did You Hear the One About the Bankers?

[A] lethal article involving Citigroup ... deserved more attention because it helps to explain why many average Americans have expressed support for the Occupy Wall Street movement. ... Citigroup had to pay a $285 million fine to settle a case in which, with one hand, Citibank sold a package of toxic mortgage-backed securities to unsuspecting customers — securities that it knew were likely to go bust — and, with the other hand, shorted the same securities — that is, bet millions of dollars that they would go bust.

It doesn’t get any more immoral than this. ... According to The Wall Street Journal, "about 15 hedge funds, investment managers and other firms that invested in the deal lost hundreds of millions of dollars, while Citigroup made $160 million in fees and trading profits.”

Well, no, Tom, you congenital idiot. Stories like this don't explain anything about Occupy Wall Street. The Occupiers couldn't care less that one group of financial hyenas fucked another. What they're worked up about is that the financial hyenas have collectively fucked the rest of us -- and not in a good way.

Indeed, fleecing a bunch of hedge funds may have been the best thing Citibank ever did. They deserve praise, not blame-- like Bernie Madoff, a great hero of mine, who ought to be as beloved as Santa Claus. If there was ever a group of people who deserved skinning alive, it was precisely the group that fell for Madoff's smarmy charm.

Comments (17)

Be easy on Tommy boy. There's a 99% in that 1% and somebody's gotta stick up for 'em (or something).

"It doesn’t get any more immoral than this."

Embarrassed to share a first name with this clod. Even Friedman's bearded doppelganger, Paul Krugman, says often that "Economics, as I say often, is not a morality play." It is such a not-a-morality-play that der BlitzKrug doesn't even need to bother checking out what the Kalecki he pretends to be citing says about the spending on bombs he thinks is as good as the spending on public parks (aggregate demand-wise).

As I say often, it doesn’t get any more not-a-morality-play than this, bucko.

Boilerplate and plagiarism -- the two staples of the punditry.

sk:

Old man Herman once described him as the Geraldo Rivera of the New York Times.

Losing the War on Cliché

The following paragraph is composed of sentences from editorials written by Thomas L. Friedman for the New York Times last summer. The statements were compiled by Tamar Adler, a freelance writer living in New York City.
And now for a wild prediction. Real men drill wells. Don't know if they were right, but you gotta root for them. Deep down, they all know it and they admit it to each other in private. You have to admire it. Because they are anything but crazy. Normally I wouldn't mind. But perfect isn't on the menu anymore. Think about it. This is dangerous. No really. It's pathetic when you think about it but also sad. Yes, yes, yes. No, no, no. Woo, woo, woo. That's embarrassing. Gotta tell you, it's the darndest thing I've ever seen. But you have to love this figure. It's kind of a two-for-one deal. A plus B equals C, but what will C be? Or does he know that I know that he knows? Say what? You guessed it. Not a bad deal. But guess what? There is a wall, several actually. And that's the drama. But hopeless? Stay tuned. This is going to get interesting.
MJS:

Boilerplate, plagiarism, and a cauld clatter o' morality.

Chomskyzinn:

"It doesn't get any more immoral than this." Oh, it probably does, Tom "Suck on This" Friedman.

Madoff became my pinup when he screwed Elie Wiesel.

Please SMBIVAns, if you haven't already: go find the clip on YouTube of Mustache Man getting a green pie in the face at Brown. Watch it repeatedly.

op:

"Bernie Madoff, a great hero of mine,
who ought to be as beloved as Santa Claus."

a post in itself

At least with Friedman, you know you're getting a douche. Friedman belongs to his class, and he isn't at all apologetic about it.

Not so the hangers on to Occupy, like Zizek, Moore, Warren and the millionaire rappers.

Not so allegedly leftist academics like Chomsky, who always has a good word for Israeli and American innovations in Zionist propaganda, and hasn't met a qualification or criticism of practicing leftists he hasn't publishes for a penny.

These glommers-on can be counted on to advocate a shameless lesser evilism every two or four years. They can be counted on to scold any unrest which doesn't conform to the quietist-pacifist models which haven't worked since Gandhi almost handed away Indian independence out of deference to the fucking Gita. They can be counted on to concern troll every actual outbreak of discontent.

At least with the Mustache of Understanding, you get what you pay for, and you know in advance that it's an ersatz commodity...

I enjoy reading Mr. Friedman simply because he doesn't appear to appreciate just how awful his writing really is. And neither do his editors, evidently.

So far as the bourgeois hop-alongs aligning themselves with the Occupy phenomenon are concerned, they don't bother me much.

This is a marketing opportunity for them, and at least they're directing their self-ad campaigns in a non-malignant direction.

But for that matter, who says Occupy has any lock on truth? In the highly unlikely event that Occupy becomes successful in any way, I'm quite confident that Occupy will develop its own cadre of leaders, who will be equally as power-hungry as every other leadership group in history that's preceded them.

love,
Pied Cow

op:

pk
sez it right here

"there’s a point made long ago by the Polish economist Michael Kalecki: to admit that the government can create jobs is to reduce the perceived importance of business confidence."

of course to carry that thought forward
much further

proves
beyond the operating range
of this liberal conscience

op:

".. I'm quite confident that Occupy will develop its own cadre of leaders, who will be equally as power-hungry as every other leadership group in history that's preceded them.."

hungry for power
hungry for bacon

human..... all too human


my common law son in law

calzero's brain child

" no fare for the unemployed "


"The Occupy Wall Street (OWS) Jobless Work Group pulls off its first action, occupies 2 subway stations!

Demand: "No Fare for the Unemployed!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPiSeAkBFT8

--------------------------

[Demand letter]


"

To: MTA Chairman & Board, Mayor Bloomberg, NYC Council, Borough Presidents, Governor Cuomo

We are the Jobless Working Group of Occupy Wall Street. We represent the suffering unemployed and underemployed of the 99% who want to work, but cannot get jobs. In NYC alone, there are over ½ million residents who badly need jobs and are willing and able to work.

A minority of us are receiving unemployment benefits, which in themselves are inadequate to pay the high rents we face in the city. Some of us are trying to get a job for the first time and get no benefits. Others of us are 99ers, long term unemployed, or self-employed workers who have no benefits. And some of us are working 20 hours/week for low pay and are desperate for more work.

We need immediate action at the federal, state and city level to end this crisis.

In the meantime every day we try to find a job ourselves. This can cost us from $4.50 to $10.00 a day on the subway and buses just to hand in a resume or have an interview, or walk a street going from place to place.

WE NEED A FREE FARE FOR ALL THE UNEMPLOYED.

We are tired of those who say that there are no solutions. We refuse to wait or go through “proper channels” – this has proven a dead end. By this weekend we will begin taking action.

The big banks and corporations are showing profits, yet they are hoarding money, refusing to loan to small business, and refusing to hire. New York City alone pays $7 billion a year to the banks in tax exempt interest payments, while NY State pays $10 billion, and the MTA this year pays $2 billion in tax exempt interest payments.[1]

WE SHOULD NOT BE GIVING TAX-FREE MONEY TO THE BANKS WHILE THE UNEMPLOYED SUFFER.

You must declare a moratorium on interest payments until the jobs crisis is over!

Giving free transit fares to the unemployed is a small step that can be taken immediately. It is not enough, but would represent your good faith towards the practical solutions that the unemployed badly need.

We will be calling each of your offices to set up a meeting to discuss this urgent proposal.

Sincerely,

for the Occupy Wall Street Jobless Working Group "


And now for a wild prediction. Real men drill wells. Don't know if they were right, but you gotta root for them. Deep down, they all know it and they admit it to each other in private. You have to admire it. Because they are anything but crazy. Normally I wouldn't mind. But perfect isn't on the menu anymore. Think about it. This is dangerous. No really. It's pathetic when you think about it but also sad. Yes, yes, yes. No, no, no. Woo, woo, woo. That's embarrassing. Gotta tell you, it's the darndest thing I've ever seen. But you have to love this figure. It's kind of a two-for-one deal. A plus B equals C, but what will C be? Or does he know that I know that he knows? Say what? You guessed it. Not a bad deal. But guess what? There is a wall, several actually. And that's the drama. But hopeless? Stay tuned. This is going to get interesting.

Y'know what the really scary thing is... that bit actually made sense on a perverse level.

Anybody here check out that JavaScript-based "Artist's Statement Generator" -- y'know, the site that helps artists automatically generate a paragraph of meaningless art wankery to describe their work for an exhibit? Well, I'm surprised that nobody out there has built one that stitches together entire Thomas Friedman columns from random sentences pulled from previous Thomas Friedman columns.

Fadduh Smiff sez on 10.30.11 @14:11:

Bernie Madoff, a great hero of mine, who ought to be as beloved as Santa Claus...

Man, I'm sure glad I'm not the only one thinking that. On general principle, I think Bernie Madoff is scum... but when I see who it was that he scammed, I can't help going woo-hoo!

mjosef:

For a moment, I thought that this site was entitled "Stop Me Before I Vote Again," implying a certain skepticism 'bout matters, but it seems to have become "Help Me to Join Chris Hedges and Cornel West Patronize the Hell Out of the Young."

There is not even a likelihood of the slightest ripple of the slightest hope of the slightest chance that Occupy Trump Casino has anything but a backlash effect upon this here political mafia system, the one that SMBIVA used to take apart so brilliantly.

Yet the 60s folkish ascetic credulous wing is creaming at drum circles and help-the-poor speechifying. Why keep up this lunatic charade of "reform" and "consensus" - they'll get some nice T-shirts and pick-up lines out of this before the mortgage-and-kids sellout, but what else?

sk:

Artist Statement Generator passes the Turing Test!

MJS:

Fear of backlash is always a serious mistake -- unless it's a mere insincere reactionary gambit. In the latter case, it's sound if unimaginative.

Tom "I'm writing as bad as I can" Friedman....

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