Stop Me Before I Vote Again

I'm not much into endorsing things that governments do, but the gadfly of NATO (PM Erdogan) has truly upped the ante.

(He's sending more aid ships, this time accompanied by the Turkish Navy).

Israel cannot win against Turkey, not in a shooting war.

The Turks have also recently (along with Brazil) given Iran an out on nuclear materials, undercutting American-British, German and Israeli efforts to further isolate that nation.

So, if Bibi is truly, completely, irrevocably insane - he can eat this sack of coal coming his way (the breaking of the Gaza siege) or provoke a dissolution crisis in NATO.

Hot world, a'coming...

The guy standing next to me at the lox counter in my local deli is unlikely to defend Hutus killing Tutsis, or vice versa, but the odds are better than even that he'll find a good word to say for the Gaza "incursion", or this weekend's quantitatively insignificant police action.

Even the cruise missile left isn't particulary fond of Israel anymore.

Peter Beinhart (credit where credit is due) has a suprisingly good article in the current New York Review of Books arguing that younger Americans Jews are liberals before they're zionists, that they're, at best, indifferent towards Israel, and, increasingly, openly hostile.

Personally I think Israel is the BP oil spill of countries. Everybody knows it's a problem. Nobody likes it. But there's seemingly nothing anybody can do to stop it.

Here's a quote from the article I'm talking about (spam filter won't let me post a link). I was shocked at how good it was (considering the source).

Israeli governments come and go, but the Netanyahu coalition is the product of frightening, long-term trends in Israeli society: an ultra-Orthodox population that is increasing dramatically, a settler movement that is growing more radical and more entrenched in the Israeli bureaucracy and army, and a Russian immigrant community that is particularly prone to anti-Arab racism. In 2009, a poll by the Israel Democracy Institute found that 53 percent of Jewish Israelis (and 77 percent of recent immigrants from the former USSR) support encouraging Arabs to leave the country. Attitudes are worst among Israel’s young. When Israeli high schools held mock elections last year, Lieberman won. This March, a poll found that 56 percent of Jewish Israeli high school students—and more than 80 percent of religious Jewish high school students—would deny Israeli Arabs the right to be elected to the Knesset. An education ministry official called the survey “a huge warning signal in light of the strengthening trends of extremist views among the youth.”

I happen to work with lot of Chasidic Jews--on the one hand they hate Israel on religious grounds (the Jews are mean to be stateless--"roam the earth") and the other they become apoplectic if one says a good word in favor of the Palestinians. What the significance of this is, I don't know.

I will add, that Israelis are, if I may generalize, the most consistently douchy people I've had the mispleasure of meeting (and I meet a lot), with the possible exception of white South Africans. There seems to be a particular attitude that comes results from being an oppressor race.

Hist -- send me the link if you can't post it (stopmebeforeivoteagain[a.t.t.t]yahoo.com). I think the blog software will take one link, though, per comment. We'd all like to see it.

Breaking the link doesn't work.

Just go to the New York Review's website. There's a link right off the front page.

Hebrew University Professor Ze’ev Sternhell is an expert on fascism and a winner of the prestigious Israel Prize. Commenting on Lieberman and the leaders of Shas in a recent Op-Ed in Haaretz, he wrote, “The last time politicians holding views similar to theirs were in power in post–World War II Western Europe was in Franco’s Spain.” With their blessing, “a crude and multifaceted campaign is being waged against the foundations of the democratic and liberal order.” Sternhell should know. In September 2008, he was injured when a settler set off a pipe bomb at his house.

Peter Beinhart (credit where credit is due) has a suprisingly good article in the current New York Review of Books arguing that younger Americans Jews are liberals before they're zionists, that they're, at best, indifferent towards Israel, and, increasingly, openly hostile.

I have no problem with dislike of Israel, but let's not misquote Ahmadinejad. He never said he wanted to wipe Israel off the map.

I would like to see Israel get a good ass whippin', enough to let them know they can't do whatever they want. But there doesn't seem to be any country on earth who can do that and risk attack by the U.S.

I hate Israel because it turns me into an accomplice. "They" hate me because my government and Israel kill "them" and they do so with absolute impunity.

It makes me sick.

let's not misquote Ahmadinejad. He never said he wanted to wipe Israel off the map.

But if he had said what he's supposed to have said, I would second the motion.

The problem with giving "Israel...a good ass whippin'" is the part where tens, hundreds or thousands of Israeli wimmins and chilluns die.

While awful in its own right, that's precisely the sort of pretext the US/UK/NATO/Israeli alliance would love to have on its react-to agenda.

Short of the Russian fleet sailing from the Crimea, through the Straits, to lay anchor off the coast of Eretz Yisroel, coordinated with the Turkish air and naval forces, Iranian concentrations along the Iraq-Iran border and Indian neutrality, the American war machine (in all its constituent parts) is just salivating to get those sort of ready made justifications.

That kind of war would prove (1) profitable as all get out, (2) easy to sell to the American electorate, (3) a boon to Hollywood.

MJS,

Ahmadinejad called for the end to the Israeli regime occupying Jerusalem, quoting Khomeini and paraphrasing Bush.

re Ahmadinejad: I don't doubt at all that JC is correct in his reading of the dear man's remarks, and it's a reading I've heard elsewhere. Nobody needs to defend Ahmadi to me, of all people, who may well be his biggest non-Persian-speaking fan.

No doubt, whatever it was he really had to say was far more specific, intelligent, and nuanced than our Fair And Balanced media made it appear.

I too would be very specific, intelligent and nuanced, if I weren't so fucking mad at these unspeakable little Israeli pricks -- these spoiled Fauntleroys who modulate between thuggish braggadocchio and whining self-pity the way Vivaldi modulates between tonic and dominant.

Here's as nuanced as I can get tonight: the only person I'd like to see killed in Israel is Binyamin Netanyahu, and that just for the demonstration effect -- there are, after all, plenty of people in Israel worse than he is, but I'm really sick of his smug side-of-beef face.

As for all the other chauvinist dickheads in Israel, the worst I'd wish on them is that they should get used to having Arabic-speaking next-door neighbors with equal political rights. Their grandchildren would undoubtedly be a really likable and admirable cohort -- and gorgeous, too, what with all the intermarriage and all.

Actually, I had the distinct feeling that the representative of the Department of Comparative Atrocity quoted by MJS above had been leafing through old statements put out in the 1970s by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Republic of South Africa. This propaganda gave lurid illustrations of the imprudence of leaving the natives to their own devices, and explained why, therefore, keeping the boots of civilisation firmly planted on the natives' necks stopped them doing even greater harm to each other.

Israel is a tumor in the body of humanity.

http://www.jpost.com/Israel/Article.aspx?id=177134

Seems Bibi's Israel might find a way to make this worse.

The Rachel Corrie - yep, a vessel named after Rachel Corrie - is about a day out of Gaza, best I can tell.

And this ship - yep, a vessel named after Rachel Corrie - is the ship to which the Israeli state tool refers, in the link above.

It seems like they've really done it this time. The reaction I'm seeing around here is pretty intense.. way bigger than the reaction to the Lebanon attack a few years back, or any other incident that I can remember. Hopefully this leads to some sort of SA-like sanctions on Israel.

The one silver lining here is that Netanyahu is actually on a visit to Canada right now, and this happened on the very day that he was speaking at "Walk for Israel" here in Toronto.

We have a pretty large hardcore pro-Israeli population that does a lot of fundraising for settlements etc and student politics here is heavily influenced by Hillel. The PM, Stephen Harper has been courting them as a way of trying to get conservative votes in Toronto. For example they've been providing Conservative party resources to the pro-israeli student party at York U (student politics there is entirely dedicated to the Israel debate - one student group is pro, the other is against). It's nice to see this whole strategy blowing up in his face.

Ian Welsh (ianwelsh.net/) has three or four posts today on Turkey's military capability and the possibility that NATO will not back Israel in the event or at least split. The one military response that israel can't counter very easily is a distant blockade of sea-going trade.
As for the guy at the lox counter, well. .. there are many ways to deal with that.

oh god
more anti zionic war dancing

leave that punch toy to the pwogs
i tend to agree with the geef
that tallied
the body count

the gaza concentration camp
has more then just several
active human hell zones to contend with
these days
some far less entrenched
then this tussle
i note the york u line
on campus where many pwog issues gather recruits
its all about this utterly static tug of war

is gaza a nice bit of inferno ??
well
as some one at some point sez so well
in lots of
good fellah type movies

"forget about it"

i say ya
but also
i say

forget about it

"just what's so wrong with monomania? "
nothing at all so long as it's not
about something
lots of other monomaniacs share
as their key obsession
there is a point where a monomaniac
is just so belaboring the obvious ...

i say
attack uncle directly
and better yet if you have to measure everything with the zionic yardstick
then as is done here faithfully
tag any pwog who woffles on mini mean

like who ever the hell posted
that tally

to "one of my mailing lists":

unless its a non pwog list

in the 70's zionic woffling was a nice litmus test
today too many polly pwogs pass that test
to administer it as a screening device

btw
don't you hate
the fact
that posed snap of bronzed youthful gideonites
--worthy of leni herself --
prolly makes my gorgeous gal at the nyt wet ??

http://www.npr.org/about/nextgen/interns/ie03/bioshotrampell.jpg

I have to agree with op. The israel/palestine debate is really really tedious. It is a big waste of time, and the main reason why I (and many others like me) never got involved in student politics. What I'm hoping for with with this event is that it ends the debate, and that Israel just becomes a complete pariah state like SA. Instead of going on endlessly about this one issue, maybe then some of the younger post-seattle 9/11 generation of lefties will start paying more attention to the bigger picture.

off topic: This is a gorgeous girl ....
http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/8249/34038039.png
at Bloomerg TV.

I am a feeble creature who feels the revulsion that so many others have expressed about these IDF brigands. But I agree with op, I think, (hard to tell sometimes) that Uncle Sam is the source of this and a lot of other, even more nasty situations. Israel was a bad idea from the start but not that surprising a one given who all the enablers were.
What to do? Call your Congress perso........ oh, that's right, SMBIVAns don't do that.....
Send money to support Gaza flotillas, perhaps.

I have friend who has just left for a 2 month visit to his 2nd home in southern Lebanon. Last time he was there was 2006. The Israeli AF blew all the windows out of his house and knocked out the power. He said they were strafing cyclists. I hope I see him again.

What are you saying, OP? Don't get worked over Israel, but concentrate on Uncle? I don't agree. The child in this dysfunctional family is a criminal, running his own racket that is contrary to the family's interests. Furthermore, on the purely theoretical level, he's a psychotic bully that needs to have his head pushed in the toilet

senecal:

don't miss understand me
i simply mean let ,mainstream liberals and their eunich pwog tag alongs deal with
mini mean
i think since they engineered that slaughter in the palestinian campas in lebanon
back in the early 80's
the torch was passed from left to liberal
humanity alone condemns the bastards at every turn now

uncle's mid east democracy IUD
ie the little non arab settler nation
with the big IDF
has kept the arb world safel;y in reactionary hands

talk about diverted
israel has diverted generations of the arab street in key moments of crisis

non arab example
majs's pal there in iran
uses the zionics like george wallace
used blacks
show's even the reaction that
is the enemy of uncle hegemonic
benefits from that miraculous manifestation
of post holocaust guilt-folly


refoundation of a hebrew state

it's enough to give settler nationalism
a bad name
if we didn't have 19th century america first

hell the poor boers lost in the end
why lump em with these size 32 supermen

I've never understood Owen's line on Israel, and probably never will. Couple of points, though:

i simply mean let mainstream liberals and their eunich pwog tag alongs deal with
mini mean
i think since they engineered that slaughter in the palestinian campas in lebanon
back in the early 80's
the torch was passed from left to liberal
humanity alone condemns the bastards at every turn now

Same goes for the media. Everybody with a grain of sense and a bit of reading knows that Israel is a horror show, but the US media of course defend it to the hilt. So if nothing else, Israel provides a terrific case study of how to understand the systematic mendacity of the media, and a vivid demonstration of that mendacity. Any issue that gets people distrusting what they hear on TV is an issue worth working, isn't it?

Then there's a curious inconsistency in arguing that Israel is strategic for US elite interests, but at the same time is so inconsequential that we shouldn't bother with it. And there's a similar inconsistency in this argument:

uncle's mid east democracy IUD
ie the little non arab settler nation
with the big IDF
has kept the arb world safel;y in reactionary hands

talk about diverted
israel has diverted generations of the arab street in key moments of crisis

mjs:
israel's role as you say is signifigant in uncle's mid east program

i suggest the left pass on a major injection of its llimited resources there
because it's more then taxed to the full by stopping uncle himself in afpak
as to which project has a greater chance of
modifying uncle's policy ??

well the afpak set up looks more fragile more easily fobbed off final responsibility
on regional junior patrners
up till now the pak
these junior partners like mini hiz seff
are nasty little surrogates indeed well ...india maybe might full liberals
like israel once did
but that's another story...

to put uncle into a mediated role of some sort
prolly relying on the pak military
as before as in 50's 60's 70's turkey army
in the end builds contradictions
mediation can become complication
free hands once delegated hard to pick up
i note uncle could never come to the boers rescue overtly
once the liberal merit class base is ripped away ...
isn't israel to that point

yes we had no afrikaner lobby
like AIPAC
but lobbies like guerrillas
must swim in friendly waters
to really act with great impact
at any rate
the struggle contra zionosm is indeed not yet clear of pol colusion among liberal labeled pols amnd media giants
and i agree we need to keep expsing the links
aipac can become like a mafia link eh ??
as i wrote above
if one can't resist the urge to kick mimi mean

"better yet if you have to measure everything with the zionic yardstick
then as is done here faithfully
tag any pwog who woffles on mini mean"

OP sez:

i note uncle could never come to the boers rescue overtly
once the liberal merit class base is ripped away ...
isn't israel to that point

yes we had no afrikaner lobby
like AIPAC
but lobbies like guerrillas
must swim in friendly waters
to really act with great impact

The argument that "we", i.e. the left, would do better to concentrate our energies on Af-Pak is interesting. A case can certainly be made.

But on the other hand, Af-Pak seems to have absolutely monolithic and united elite consensus behind it. It's not clear that the same is true for Fort Zion. The "Israel Lobby" elements may actually have overreached to the point that other elite elements have become, shall we say, disenchanted. This seems to me a fault line worth widening, to the extent that it lies within one's poor power to do so by agitating one's fellow Unwashed on the subject.

PS -- Not to mention the possibility -- admittedly, a long shot -- of some daylight between Turkey and Israel. If that should happen, then wouldn't that be a pretty big deal, especially if you believe that Israel is strategic for Uncle in somewhat the same way that Turkey is?

Admittedly, an obscure blogger in the US will have little influence on Turkish public opinion, much less Turkish government policy. But on the other hand, an American public less hypnotized by Israel and its noise machine might well help embolden and strengthen a Turkish public that seems increasingly sick of the Light Unto The Nations and would be quite happy to switch the little fuck off.

Part of the problem is how wound-up this little theocracy has us, even on the left.

MJS's point is excellent. We should simply hate on Israel.

And we need one more level of unwinding, too. "But there's seemingly nothing anybody can do to stop it" is a remarkable statement coming from a resident of the USA, which foots the Israeli bill and could shut the whole assault down in six weeks, if its elite ever decided the costs were too high or if we lefties treated Israel the same way we treated South Africa circa 1985.

Defunding, divestiture, and shunning/avoidance are the clear answers, the way to whoop some Israeli ass without actual violence against the innocent.

Taking up on MD's point above, I love the idea of an academic boycott. Not because it matters in itself but because it really does separate the sheep from the goats. There are lots of Beautiful Souls here in the US who will shed bitter tears over the Gaza flotilla but draw the line at disinviting some Technion professor from spending an idyllic semester in the leafy quads of Large Breasts U, Orthodontia, USA.

The actual comment by Ahmadinejad with context is here, translated by Juan Cole who speaks Farsi fluently and hates Ahmadinejad with a passion, so I doubt anyone could call it a mistranslation.

The Imam said that this regime occupying Jerusalem (een rezhim-e ishghalgar-e qods) must [vanish from] from the page of time (bayad az safheh-ye ruzgar mahv shavad).”

http://www.juancole.com/2006/05/hitchens-hacker-and-hitchens.html

When 500 Hezbollah guerrillas inflicted a humiliating defeat on Israel's 35,000-man invasion force during the last Lebanon massacre, I have to admit it felt good to watch them get their asses handed to them by such a desperately outgunned and outnumbered opponent. The soldiers of Grossdoucheland are simultaneously the toughest, most inglorious basterds on the planet, and the world's ultimate victims who cry like little girls when pelted by the stone-throwing kids they love to gun down.

Hezbollah provided a powerful lesson in what a well-armed and disciplined guerrilla force can do against a modern mechanized army. The stormtroopers are not unbeatable.

I think it's possible to walk and chew gum at the same time. You can focus attention on Mini-me while still working to undermine his nasty Big Brother at home. If anything, the two objectives tend to overlap, with Israel being a massive, exploitable political liability to the US that many in the elite are surely tiring of—their latest escapade being a prime example. At the same time, the more you weaken the empire the less it can afford to keep propping up useless deadwood.

The media and the Zionist lobby have become kingmakers in American politics. Is it any surprise that both the US media and US politicans are nearly unanimous in lockstep agreement with everything Israel does, no matter what the cost to American prestige and interests? You can argue all day who the "top" and the "bottom" is in this homo-cidal relationship, but it's clear who keeps getting it in the ass, and it isn't Israel. Has any Israeli leader ever had to grovel before the US the way our politicians grovel before Israel? The little satrap seems more Shah than servant.

the campus movement to boycott israel
makes good senseso long as it's low hanging fruit
i really over step my point
if i suggest lefty arms should remain
folded if the pwogs of academia in general are up for a kill the pig interval
the rise of anti boer "feeling" is a very nice parallel indeed

Sean,

Israel really doesn't do much (outside its little regional fief) without US license.

No way the Israelis popped ships under NATO national registry without the US getting the heads up.

Jack C -- I wonder. Remember the USS Liberty? But yeah, if it came out tomorrow that Obie -- a Democrat, and therefore a fanatical Zionist by definition -- gave the green light for this one, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

Still: creating "facts on the ground" -- or in this case, on the water -- is very much the Israeli style. Or as an old boss of mine used to say, it's a lot easier to get forgiven than to get permission.

It'll all be told one of these days, but I probably won't be around to read the relevant memoirs. When they do come out, hire a medium and let me know, OK?

i share eans deep admiration for Hezbollah

they serve as a model for protracted armed struggle
even after seizing power
among other things

they model
the way a red guard ought to defend any dictatorship of the proles
ie not with a world class red army
but with a hazy type guerilla capability
so deeply integrated into the society as to be essentially indistinguishable and thus short of genocide unconquerable

MJS,

They way I see it (and I fully admit my increasingly obvious capacity for error):

The Medi is not no man's sea. It's heavily policed, and surrounded by US installations.

The Sixth Fleet (US) is a fairly omnipresent fixture, especially in the Eastern Med.

Given the proximity of the Russian Black Sea Fleet, as well as the necessity (Iraq, Afghanistan) of US operational coverage of all airspace from Italy through to the Iranian border, I think it's highly unlikely that the Israelis did this in an operational black out.

Could Bibi/Avigdor be insane enough to frag a devoted ally?

Sure. I cannot honestly answer that in the negative.

But, I just don't think that this was done without US foreknowledge. Every player in Europe and the near Middle East was watching that convoy.

The Israelis had already bragged that they would turn it back.

If Obama didn't get a heads up, under such obvious circumstances, he was either willfully avoiding it, or Bibi really thinks Petraeus will ride his white horse onto the lawn of 1600 Penn.

Respect,

Jack

op,

they (hizbollah) also confound the hell out of US/UK/Israeli propaganda about "Islamists," what with their incorporation of women combatants, spies and cadre, and their tolerance of Western modes of dress, music and politicking.

re: OP's comment about the left "wasting" time on the tired issue of Israel/Palestine, I'd answer this way: on the geo-political level, where the subject is US empire, you may be right. And, on the same level, according to some, Israel isn't long for this world anyway(maybe ten years left.) However, the real issue here isn't political, it's a public health one. As someone said above, Israel's a cancer; I call it a case of mass psychosis. It's something we, as a society, wouldn't allow in our midst. It's a dangerous, racist, religious cult, and the belief in it by a large number of Americans is a danger to the rest of us.

That's why we do, and should, get agitated about it.

Jack -- I think you may have convinced me.

Jack, as already mentioned Israel didn't suffer much in the way of repercussions after the USS Liberty incident, and the "special relationship" has grown exponentially stronger since then. Israel is notorious for its arrogance, and they may have acted unilaterally in the comfortable knowledge that the West would react exactly the way it did...with silence.

I don't know if there's a meaningful difference between Israel acting unilaterally and asking "permission" from a rubberstamp like Obama, as opposed to a president who might conceivably have said no and acted forcefully to stop it.

But it's conceivable they might have obtained an okay for a crowd control type operation simply arresting the passengers, but then took the liberty to send a message with a massacre and claim they were the victims afterwards, a well-trodden narrative the world seems only too eager to accept.

The real question is what could America have to gain from agreeing to this? It was an act of pure insanity, and everyone concerned stands to lose something in the aftermath. NATO has been exposed for the fraud it is, and even Israel stands to lose out if Turkey cancels the BTC pipeline deal.

http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=2824

Sean, MJS,

My sincere suspicion? Bibi wants a pass on Gaza. Israel is a garrison state. Without enemies, it's got a generation of permanent conscripts raised on religious myths and no one to point them at.

Forty years ago, the kibbutzim had a voice, had an opportunity to transcend their own Zionist heritage, to turn their colonial plots into open gateways.

They lost the ideological battle. Perhaps they never had a chance to win, given the depth of the Revisionist party line, and its ability to survive so many transformations (from Revision to Irgun/Stern, to providing the Hagganah core, to Likud, to Kadima, to shifting even Labor into its camp).

What emerged was a colonial state with an endless supply of goods and money, and no real adversaries.

Flash to our times, add in the religious capture of Israeli schools and the deep penetration of Settler religious zealotry, in the IDF - and you've got Israeli Jews as far from Larry David and Woody Allen as imaginable, and none of the secularist hedonism of their forebears.

The Settlers command the state out of all proportion to their actual numbers.

Which means Israel's got to choose - waste all that treasure on keeping Gaza and its ridiculously concentrated, dense packed population captive, or finish its water war in the West Bank and East Jerusalem.

The Gazans are an excellent media capture, since no one is talking about the insane pace of colonization along to the west.

And if Israel loses a little face having the Turks break their blockade, so what?

That plays well to the home audience, especially those who believe all the lies of the garrison state.

Gaza gets its concrete, dolls, foodstuffs and medicines...

...and then the logical conclusion follows shortly after.

"Terrorists" strike out from Gaza, showing everyone that those filthy Mooslims can't even be trusted with their own liberation by a friendly Mooslim power.

It worked in Lebanon and Jordan, for what it's worth.

Israel gets a clean pretext for a mop up, and a whole lot of people at which to point their angry Zionist crusaders, which again distracts from the nasty little pogrom going on in Jerusalem and the WB - and two years from now a hundred thousand more settlers have filled in the gaps.

The American state suffers no harm. The Turks don't have to lose too much face (they've made a rather large public gesture towards Gaza), and the Israelophiles in Germany, France, Britain and Italy get to murmur their toldyasos.

Remember, the last time the Israelis "lost" Gaza, they used the opportunity to beat it to a bloody pulp.

Or...I could just be suspicious with no grounds, wronger than not, which is par for the course.

Respect,

Jack

Yes, we should ignore Israel in favor of focusing on Uncle Sam.

Right.

I mean, it's not like Israel is Uncle Sam's bastard progeny or anything.

And it's not like Israel wouldn't exist without money, armament, geopolitical support, intellectual property support, academic support from Uncle Sam.

Is it?

Nope.

No, we should ignore Israel. Because really, Israel has no connection to Uncle Sam.

Right op?

once again
owen paine
OW! IN PAIN!
confounds
befuddles
makes miasmic
and renders
all under discussion
a swirling
fetid
swamp of
distraction since
there's some
obscure pedantry
suggesting that
misstah payne
not max of
video game
fame
but the
OUCH
of the
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pain_scale
variety
says so.

HOO WAH!

Bless me father for I have sinned. It's been several months since I last admitted annoyance at Mr Paine's pomposity.

There seems to be a particular attitude that comes results from being an oppressor race.
I've Never met A Nice South African - sung by Spitting Image

I've travelled this old world of ours from Barnsley to Peru
I've had sunshine in the arctic and a swim in Tinbuktu
I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yetti in Nepal
And I've danced with ten foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall
I've met the King of China and a working Yorkshire miner
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of arrogant b***tards
Who hate black people

I once got served in Woolies aften less than four week's wait
I had lunch with Rowan Atkinson when he paid and wasn't late
I know a public swimming bath where they don't piss in the pool
I know a guy who got a job straight after leaving school
I've met a normal merman and a fairly modest German
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of talentless murderers
Who smell like baboons

I've had a close encounter of the twenty-second kind
That's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind
I got directory enquiries after less than forty rings
I've even heard a decent song by Paul McCartney's Wings
I've seen a flying pig in a quite convincing wig
But I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
'Cause we're a bunch of ignorant loudmouths
With no sense of humour - ha ha

I've met the Loch Ness monster and he looks like Fred Astaire
At the BBC in London he's the chief commissionaire
I know a place in Glasgow which is rife with daffodillies
I met a man in Katmandu who claimed to have two willies
I've had a nice pot noodle but I've never had a poodle
And I've never met a nice South African.

No he's never met a nice South African
And that's not bloody surprising man
Because we've never met one either
Except for Breyten Breytenbach and he's emigrated to Paris. (farts)

Yes he's quite a nice South African
And he's hardly ever killed anyone
And he's not smelly at all.
That's why they put him prison.

Here it is on youtube.

You're so creative! I would bet my bottom dollar that you can write on virtually any topic, whether an assessment writing or free papers