Stop Me Before I Vote Again

We reported yesterday on the elevation of Eric "Cheeky Chappie" Alterman to the Parnassus of distinguished-professorhood. Eric himself is pleased as Punch about this brummagem laurel wreath, and doesn't mind who knows it:

http://mediamatters.org/altercation/200707100002#1

First things first: Congratulations to me on the occasion of my being named a "CUNY Distinguished Professor of English" at Brooklyn College. Professionally speaking, it's just about the best thing that's ever happened to me. (Though it's not in the press release, I am also a Professor of Journalism at the new CUNY Graduate School of Journalism, where I'll be teaching the "journalism of ideas" in the fall.)

"Journalism of ideas"? The "ideas of journalism" would have been closer to the mark. Although in Eric's case, that's a little too uncomplimentary to the journalist's profession -- if it's possible to be too uncomplimentary to the journalist's profession. Good authorities have thought otherwise.

And of course one has to admire Eric's unflagging, relentless self-regard -- he clearly feels that the CUNY press release announcing this canonization wasn't nearly complimentary enough to him.

My favorite response to Alterman's preening came across the wire on, you guessed it, lbo-talk, from the wonderfully poison pen of Dwayne Monroe:

http://mailman.lbo-talk.org/pipermail/lbo-talk/Week-of-Mon-20070709/013108.html

From the Wikipedia entry on Venus:

Venus has the densest atmosphere of all the terrestrial planets, consisting mostly of carbon dioxide... It has become so hot that the earth-like oceans the young Venus is believed to have possessed have totally evaporated, leaving a dusty dry desertscape with many slab-like rocks. Worse still, the evaporated water vapor has dissociated and hydrogen has escaped into interplanetary space.

Well, that's pretty damn hot.

And yet, I imagine a bone crushing, flesh searing afternoon on Venus would be delightfully comfortable in comparison to a minute spent within the superheated plasma blown corridors of Sir Alterman's mind.